Order
|
Answer
|
Responses
|
Percent
|
|
Nothing! In
the uk guys can get married - and we did, last year!! And ALL of our
families, from my 81 year old grandmother to my 10 month old niece were
there!!
|
letting
family and friends down
|
Other
people's perception change, possible lowering of trust, not coming out
earlier.
|
There is
the idea in the back of my head that gay people aren't good enough. The
word gay used as slang for "stupid" and other gay derogatory
slurs make me feel that way.
|
Nothing.
|
My family
is very intolerant of anybody different from their narrow world view. I
had this (literally) beaten into me as a child.
|
I'm not at
all ashamed now, but back before I came out I was ashamed, I think
because at the time there was no indication of acceptance in the media, I
had never met anyone who was gay, and had had it ingrained into me that
it was wrong. (this was over 30 years ago)
|
The fact
that people think it is a conscious decision I have made to be gay, ie
not appreciating it's the way you're born and the way you feel.
|
I don't.
|
not having
told people earlier
|
Homosexuality
was not acceptable in my family.
|
Being
treated as a lesser person than how I was treated when they didn't know.
|
I identify
as heterosexual. The survey
wouldn't let me continue without completing this question.
|
Just the
thought of losing friends and family, no shame or guilt about being gay
in itself.
|
The feeling
of non accpetance by others to hide my true self from everyone around me
|
N/A
|
It's not
guilt or shame, but just a certain degree of fear. Fear that I won't be
strong enough to defend myself, whether through debate/argument or a more
physical response.
|
religious
expectation as well as the social image which i generally purvey which
causes anyone i tell to become shocked, usually causing the process to
not go as smoothly
|
I just feel
more or less, an outcast. Not, completely, but people look at you a bit
differently, and that makes me feel as though I brought it on myself,
though I know it's not my choice to make.
|
I don't
bring it up at jobs, but my family knows I am bi-sexual. I came out late
to them, but earlier to my friends.
|
Well at
first i think that i really was wrong, toke me lot of time and finally
when i think in myself and being happy was much much better! Now im
totally out of closet!
|
Making
things "embarrassing" for my Dad, who's family is traditional
and Colombian.
|
they'll
basically hate me for life.
|
nothing.
|
Just the
fact that my str8 family knows!
|
Growing up,
I feared my friends would no longer be my friends if they new the
"real" me. As for my
family, while not generally VERY religious, my mother had expressed that
being gay was a sin in the eyes of God.
That made it difficult.
|
Disappointing
to family
|
It's
against our belief system and members of our community have been shunned
for coming out.
|
It's not
guilt or being ashamed as much as bracing for how the rest of the world
will occasionally remind you of it. For example: Gay Rights, someone
throwing the word "fag" at you as an insult, knowing people out
there are already against you when you don't even know them.
|
Its not the
norm.. you are looked at as broken.
|
Nothing
|
My family
would not accept me, that it used to accept.
|
I feel like
they will not accept me and will treat me differently than before they
knew.
|
Being
different than normal men and behaving different, that is having sex with
men. It's just not natural that men are having sex with men.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Total
|
114
|
100%
|
Q12 :
Describe what makes you feel guilty or ashamed
about coming out as a
gainer/encourager/admirer to
important people in your life
|
Order
|
Answer
|
Responses
|
Percent
|
1
|
|
128
|
100
|
|
I don't feel guilty. I just like the stomach. Most shapes
and sizes. Love gutpunching mostly!
|
It seems so
far out of mainstream acceptance.
I enjoy gaining and vetting bigger but if I know I have a vacatiOn
coming up where I wear a bathing suit I lose weight. It's hard for me to think that other
people might think, "he used to be so hot."
|
a
|
their
concern for my health
|
The taboo
surrounding the topic - it not being the norm in society.
|
The fact
that it is so out of the ordinary and that being fat has a negative
impact on health, in general.
|
I probably
do the exact opposite of what I tell others in the gaining world. I would
love to just let go and fatten up some, but then I always get myself
concerned what others would think...that sort of thing....which I know I
shouldnt even be concerned with.
|
It's always
been important in my family to be fit. I swam competitively for 10 years
and was never really unfit until senior year of high school and this
first year of college. My dad just went on a health-kick and is skinnier
(and healthier) than ever, and my mom has always been skinny. My parents
harass my brother constantly about his weight, and I think it takes a
negative toll on his sense of self. It also has to deal with how society
views 'fat' today. Everyone has their comfortable/healthy weight, and I
really believe that mine is based a bit heavier than normal. Being skinny
is something so admired in today's culture that it is hard sometimes to
face the idea of going so far against what others believe.
|
Feel like
being a freak ? However it's really easier knowing (with youtube,
grommr...) that I'm far from being the only one !
|
come on.
you seriously need an explanation on this one?
|
I wouldn't
care about them knowing that I'm attracted to bigger men, but at the same
time it's a kink... I don't want important... shall we say "non
sexual" people in my life knowing what gets me off. Weird!
|
Just that
they never planned that for my future and that I would not give them what
they want.
|
That some
people would misunderstand and think I am extreme (which in some
fantasies sure but not in practice).
|
Sometimes I
feel guilty of not being as powerful as I was as a slender guy. Being
bigger though makes me feel more powerful in other ways.
|
It's a very
rare thing to be attracted to, for sure, but since this doesn't really
affect other people so much I'm only concerned about the embarrassment.
|
I wouldn't
say I'm ashamed of being attracted to fat guy and into gaining. It's how
I was born and there is nothing I can do about it. However, it's not
something I would like to share with my family members, not because I
think it's wrong, more because I think they would worry.
|
With it
being 'not normal', I do feel that I would get rejected as its not the
usual thing. Rejection is my biggest fear
|
Its a very
weird fetish and I'm afraid everyone will look differently at me. Will also probably lose friends
|
Society
basically says that fat = very bad. Shame on you for liking it!
|
It is,
obviously, contrary to societal norms and I would likely never tell my
family.
|
nothing
|
They might
find it too weird and shun me.
|
I guess
it's not really accepted by the main.
|
what they
would say and see me as a weird homo whose sick
|
Well, never
came out to anyone on that.
Doesn't really manifest itself outside of the online community and
the direct contact i've had with gainers/encouragers in the past.
|
I have a
fair amount of friends who are fat themselves, but they all seem to
detest their bodies too much for me to admit sexual attractions of this
kind.
|
I would be
worried that revealing such information would forever change my
relationship with those important to me.
I don't think I could overcome those doubts.
|
It's hard,
with society being the way it is, to love bellies and want to grow them and
what not. I know. Total cop out. y
|
Considered
more a sexual fetish, I don't often share this side with family and
friends outside the G/E community
|
Its not
shame so much as they would never understand so I don't see the point
|
One
particular friend stopped contacting me when she came across my Youtube
channel.
|
People and
Family..
|
Parent's
just don't understand. I am a highly evolved creature and most are still
happy to be spoonfed thoughts and opinions.
|
My dad has
diabetes, as well as other members of my extended family & he always
warns me to keep my weight under control.
|
not
acceptable by society. kinda of weird.
|
It goes
against the norm. No one would be
excited to see me with a partner that is obese, or that grew very very
fat.
|
the
irregularity of it
|
It is an
unusual fetish that needs a lot of explanation, and I don't really
understand my own feelings.
|
The kind of
friends I make.
|
It's
extremely taboo in the gay community, or at least my local one. Gay guys
are thin and beautiful. It's hip and cool to skip meals. I once had a
boyfriend that told me he "liked me frail".
|
|
|
|
|
|
Order
|
Answer
|
Responses
|
Percent
|
|
Even though
I love bellies and stuff, I'm not actually "out" with that. I
have a boyfriend and he has a little belly and it has no place in our
relationship. I'm not sure how he would react to me telling him about
it--if there would even be a reaction at all--but it feels like a way
more harder "coming out" because it's so sexually counter
cultural.
|
It just
isn't normal to most people and I fear being outcasted.
|
Once I
admire or compliment a guys belly, he recoils and becomes embarrassed.
|
I don´t
feel ashamed about it, I just mention it in case we´re talking about
what we like.
|
Society
says we should be thin and have a desire to be thin and fit. Its very difficult to convince someone
that you feel the exact opposite, wars are fought on ideals and
differences like that.
|
My family
is very critical on people's weight.
I had long time issues to decide to put the weight on. I still feel uncomfortable in there
house.
|
I think
it's kind of like what John Waters says, "you don't need to come out
to your parents as a bear". I've considered telling friends about my
fetish before, and after weighing the pros and cons, I think the only good
outcome would be an explanation for why I'm always growing fatter. I just
don't see how having my friends or family know about my fetish would
improve our relationship. I'm glad to not be vanilla, and I will never
judge anyone for their fetish, but I don't think there's really a need
for all the fetishes of the world to be out and celebrated. There's too
much emphasis on what people do in their bedrooms already.
|
Excess.
It's excess. Embodied. And...there are people who have...nothing. People
who are starving. That's a problem.
|
Before i
found about about the gaining community, i had never even heard of belly
or fat worship
|
It is
completely the opposite of what "society" thinks, so people aren't trained to think about it
or respond positively.
|
It is a fetish
and people view fetishes as taboo. I don't want to have to explain myself
to anyone, so I just don't mention it to family. I tell friends though.
|
They might
think its weird, sick...
|
It would be
regarded as "weird" by the majority of the population.
|
Fighting
the myths that FAT is always a death sentence.
|
It's not my
sole attraction, but my friends and family both are very
fitness-conscious. I myself am
muscular and athletic with a bit of a belly, but I rarely tell anybody
that I'm attracted somewhat to men who are a bit "chunkier"
because it's none of their business, but there will also undoubtedly be
some judgment on their part. In terms of my own body, It makes me
uncomfortably simply because I know what I want my body to be and when I
was much skinnier as well as MUCH larger (I used to be an active gainer,
but due to little to zero attraction from others and just overall not
liking how I looked, felt, clothes felt, etc. I decided to go after a
much healthier lifestyle) I used to recieve a lot of nasty comments on my
body and weight.
|
I think
just that it is so frowned upon in society, and that my family wouldn't
agree, but I have a feeling they would voice their disdain in the form of
concern for my health.
|
It's a
fetish, and it's taboo in society. Straying from the norm a little bit
seems acceptable, but this fetish is usually far beyond than what most
people can handle. It would be difficult for my friends to accept.
|
It oges
aginst the "norm."
|
Again
judgement and lack of assurance that friends and family would treat me
differently about it.
|
It's
definitely not seen as 'normal', while being homosexual is now accepted
as being normal. Unlike other
fetishes, this one seems to encourage something viewed as unhealthy, and
also goes completely against what people expect gay men to be like. Fatness isn't acceptable in modern
society, and particularly in gay culture.
|
society
|
Well, I
have told people in the past that the reason why this gay man is eating
so much fatty food, is because this gay man is a gainer, but usually this
just meets with strange looks â?? like I said that I enjoy having
sex with toast or something. Even still, I don't know to whom or when I
should be coming out of the fridge, as they say. I don't know if I'm
really answering the question, so let me say this. I feel that every step
I take on the gainer path is a step I take away from the traditional gay
lifestyle. I have doubts myself about whether fat acceptance can land you
a boyfriend.
|
not the
norm
|
I haven't
really came out as a gainer/encourager.
I don't really mind keeping it in.
But for others, I can see how it is even harder to let people know
because it's almost like coming out of the closet again. A double whammy, if you will.
|
That my
likes are in opposition to what is accepted in society.
|
i was
scared comming out as gay gainer for long
time but over the years meeting and chatting with people i felt
better and more happy
|
i was
scared at frist but as i saw more and more fat people around i felt ok
then i just came out and feel good now
|
Rejection
|
The fear
again of being different to others. I work in health, have always been
slim and feel I have to live up to the 'healthy' role. I fear again what
people might think of me, about them not understanding and about rejection
arising from that. I am also pretty awful at disclosing personal feelings
and emotions to most people, so the prospect of revealing such intimate
sexual details about my preferences, actions and desires within such a
niche fetish area is almost impossible for me to consider.
|
Current
societal messages are almost 100% against the practice. It could also
potentially lead to trouble since my family has history of heart disease
and diabetes.
|
its a very
socially unacceptable norm
|
lucky i was
very big so it never crossed my mind
|
Cause
everyone would worry and think I need some sort of professional help,
wither it be a therapist or a trainer.
|
It's none
of their concern what excites me. All that matters is that I am happy
|
I've
encouraged my partners in secret. I think that's enough reason to feel
guilty. Fattening them up without them realising or giving consent.
|
being an
encourager and feeder is probably different from being an admirer, at
least for me. I do not feel ashamed of my attraction for bigger guys. My
friends know that i prefer beefy men over skinny guys and we talk open
and freely about it. gaining and encouraging however is something i feel
ashamed of telling people, because i d not like to be rejected by them.
|
If I put on
weight intentionally, I don't know if I can handle the teasing.
|
Same as 1st
|
Fear of
being judged.
|
Maybe the
unhealthiness is a downside, otherwise nothing to be ashamed of.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Order
|
Answer
|
Responses
|
Percent
|
|
In many
ways, I think coming out as a "gainer," or as someone who may
be attracted to big guys, or in my own case, being attracted to guys who
appreciate my belly and want to make me grow, is tougher than coming out
as gay. The dominant opinion that
fat is unattractive, and that gaining weight and being fat is unhealthy,
makes it tougher for people to understand. Sort of how some people may not
understand how I am attracted to someone of the same sex, many more
people don't seem to understand the "gainer/encourager/admirer"
scene.
|
For me,
much like not fitting into the social norm of being heterosexual, I feel
that I was already a bit of an outcast for being gay, and that my
attractive to fat, overweight guys or that I want to be one of those
attractive, fat, and overweight guys would only exacerbate my relationship
with friends and family.
|
My family
is mostly trying to lose weight, and basically feel that being fat makes
them ugly or unattractive or less attractive.
|
They'd
never understand, it would completely gross them out.
|
its weird!
|
The simple
fact of being attracted to something that's deemed so...
"unhealthy" in our society. Well, I think it's hot and I'm not
so sure why. But I like it.
|
I am very
worried about how other people would react, that it might draw unwelcome
attention to me, or lead to me being alienated.
|
Being gay,
I've always felt like a bit of an outsider. I don't like the idea of
being an even GREATER minority. Plus, the area in which I live is
relatively health-conscious, so everyone is always trying to be
"fit" and lose weight. In short: not socially acceptable.
|
It's not
the circle of friends I run in generally - not really accepted but
there's a point where it doesn't necessarily matter and people need to
like you for who you are.
|
Not idealed
in society
|
Nothing
that a good drunken chat didn't cure!
|
it goes
against how i was raised or what society tells us
|
They would
probably think I'm crazy.
|
The idea
that they just wouldn't understand and think it is disgusting.
|
Nothing
|
Fetishes
are generally mocked in society, no matter what they are. Think of how
many handcuff gags you see in movies & tv, and what that prop is
alluding to, and how it is supposed to make the viewer feel about the
character(s).
|
For me it's
not so much that I'm ashamed, but really am not in the mood at this point
in me life to have the whole explanation conversation over and over. My partner and a couple of close
friends know, and for right now, that's all that need to know.
|
I don't
think people would understand it at all, therefore easier just to not
mention it.
|
I tend to
get ashamed about anything sexual.
It doesn't seem like it would be their business.
|
don't need
the sermons about health, worry about how clothes look
|
It's not
just the physical or health implications. Socially, fat is associated
with traits like low intelligence and laziness and a lack of
self-respect. So why would you find that attractive. Early on I felt
really ashamed. Even coming out as a bear chaser was hard. But as I've
grown more open about bears, beards and bellies there's less discomfort -
my bf knows I love him being much fatter than he was ;)
|
I feel that
I will be ridiculed.
|
As a fit,
average-sized person who has recently started gaining again, I am
concerned about people viewing my getting fat as
"ruining"/harming myself; or, even worse, as indicative of some
kind of mental health issue (depression, eating disorder, etc...).
|
The label
chubby chaser gets banded about and seems to limit what they think you
can be atracted too. I like
masculine people doesn't matter if they are fat, skinny, or muscled
aslong as there is something about them which attracts me.
|
At first I
thought it was such an odd thing to like but as I grown, learned more,
and found my place in the gay community I realize it's not all odd to
like big guys.
|
In most
peoples eyes its not natural and so i kept the attraction to myself only
telling those i know on simillar websites to do with bellies
|
N/A
|
I don't
because it's nobody else's business what I do with MY body.
|
the social
stigma of it, my self consciousness, together they just confuse and
concern those i love who know of my interests
|
I'm between
a 2 and 3. Obviously, I can't help it--it's what I'm attracted to. But, I
feel once again, like an outcast, I feel out of place. More so than being
gay, because there is only a fraction of people who admit they like fat,
whereas there are a fair amount of openly gay men/women. idk. I just feel
I would be distanced or looked at weird if I told people "I love
being chubby/ guys who are getting chubby."
|
I wouldn't
say it's so much guilt or being ashamed about it, but I believe it's
inviting too much interest in my life and my habits. I don't think EVERY
sexual desire I have is worth giving to everyone in my life -- I
certainly don't know theirs! And I don't want/need to know. Plus having
grown up fat, I don't feel like getting into that territory with them.
|
I think as
in all places people think that gain weight is bad and that suck, always
taking care the health is really ok, doing some sports and gaining is the
best way to be a gainer.
|
I don't
need to come out as a gainer. It's a sex thing, not a lifestyle for me.
|
They'd be
disgusted and disown me.
|
Nothing.
|
Im really
not any of these, I don't try to gain weight I just do. I just like
finding sexy twink ish types on here.
|
It seems
very peculiar to people that someone would be in to this sort of
thing. That, and all chubby
chasers represented in media seem to be some fat-driven sex monsters,
even in queer-related media (Queer as Folk). The irony here is that sex-driven sex
monsters was the charge labled against all homosexuals not too long ago.
|
Not sure,
exactly, just that it's so far outside of what is expected. They know I tend to like guys bigger
and my brother even once commented that i seemed "proud" of my belly.
|
They might
think less of me.
|
While most
of my friends know since most of my friends are gainers, and to an extent
my family knows too. I could never directly tell my grandmother that not
only am i gay and she has not gotten used to that at all yet but I am fat
on purpose and only am attracted to other fat men
|
|
|
|
|
|
Order
|
Answer
|
Responses
|
Percent
|
|
it doesn't
make sense to them, so they would just get angry.
|
I don't
personally think that "coming out as a
gainer/ecourager/admirer" is even necessary. It's a preference. Do men who like big breasts on women
tell their family that they are in a relationship because of the woman's
breasts? No. So why would I even bother my family with such a superficial
thing?
|
Only out to
like minded individuals
|
It's pretty
sexual, and I don't like to discuss that with just anyone.
|
My friends
and family want me thinner, but i love been fat.
|
Naturally
have a really athletic build, and no overweight relatives at all, so its
weird for me to be like that.
|
In our today's
society, we don't really accept fat people, it's okay if the are but
gaining to become it's something that people don't really understand
without the gaining community.
|
In society
fat people are considered gross and disgusting and I think its very hard
to tell someone you know very well that you actually like those fat guys
and you even find them pretty attractive.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Total
|
128
|
100%
|
Q20 : In your
opinion, what could be done to reduce the
shame and guilt associated with
gaining, attraction to
fatness, encouraging, etc.?
|
Order
|
Answer
|
Responses
|
Percent
|
1
|
|
146
|
100
|
|
Tell someone to just go 4 it. Don't regret what you have
done. Regret what you haven't done
|
If it were
excepted and encouraged by the mainstream.
|
0001
|
seeing fat
gay men out in public
|
I really
don't know, I suppose just dealing with it and having people to talk to
who understand
|
try to get
rid of the thoughts of what others would think. do what makes you happy
|
Finding a
partner within the gaining community would be very helpful because they'd
be there as a support through possibly coming out to my parents about the
gaining side of me.
|
It would
surely help a lot if this community was known outside of the web !
|
Not let
others affect you
|
i have no
ideas.
|
It's all
about how the person attracted to it feels. Kind of like coming out about
being gay... if you don't make a big deal out of it, most other people
won't either.
|
Well if I
had someone in my family that had the same issue as me.
|
The
perception that not all fat is unhealthy.
That enjoying good food (i.e.
not fast food crap) is natural.
|
Teach
teachers and educators to not feel bad about themselves. Telling everyone
that there is skinny and fat people. Everyone has a right to be!
|
Making
society more aware of its existence is the first thing that needs to
happen. I think that most things are possible in this world, and
certainly the endless possibilities of how many different attractions
there are.
|
If being
fat wasn't such a health risk.
|
No idea
|
If it was
more acceptable in society
|
I honestly
don't know...it's hard because I still feel that way.
|
It being
revealed to mainstream society in a positive, or at least not so deviant
and unhealthy light.
|
I dont know
really
|
Making fat
not seem like such a bad thing in the media.
|
No idea
|
no
|
peoples
perception on beauty
|
comeout as
gay and into fat guys
|
have more
sites explaining what this is and that they are not alone and have safe sites
for the under 18
|
I'm not
sure, most fetishes people have are kept hush hush, unless spoken about
amongst eachother I find.
|
imagery
used in ads and publications needs to embrace a broader range of body
types. It's difficult for many to
feel good about themselves, when those that they often look up to are
bashed and ridiculed when they gain a pound or show some sagging skin on
the beach... it's just unpractical, but a national/global obsession.
|
I'm not
entirely sure that should happen.
|
I would
have to move somewhere where I could start afresh.
|
Fat models.
End of story. There's a show with big models on it, and I wish there were
more like that. I do wish that beauty was viewed like it was in the years
gone.
|
More public
display or recognition
|
Trying to
get people to understand but I don't have much hope
|
should have
more groups and socials
|
Coming to
terms with it and considering it less voodoo.
|
More
understanding from the community that the fetish doesn't always involve
the desire for belly rubs and feeding. Regular sex with an attractive
gainer guy is enough for some.
|
Not sure.
|
To see
everyone else fat.=)
|
Live your
own life. Everyone thinks they have the manual on how to live everyone
elses life. I take the position: I don't know what is right for you, and
you don't know what is right for me, to each his own.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Order
|
Answer
|
Responses
|
Percent
|
|
Lost with
this
|
Show us
that there are other people like us. Maybe other stranger fetishes.
|
I don't
think encouraging and feeding up a partner will every be socially
acceptable - even though i love it
|
If it were
a more common and healthier thing
|
Don't know
|
I'm getting
to the point (sad as it may seem) where I'm not sure much can be
done. Perhaps if we adopted the
Tongan system of attractiveness it'll be better.
|
Within the
gay community, I think the is a lot of room for increased tolerance of
alternative beauty ideals. Gainers/Encouragers being more open about their preferences
would be helpful. We perpetuate the taboo by keeping it under wraps.
|
I really
don't think there is anything that can be done, in some ways.
|
the more
you do it and talk about it the more normalized it becomes
|
Nothing,
people will probably never find it normal
|
Being as
proud of our bellies as proud as I am as a gay men.
|
not sure
|
I'm not
sure, unfortunetely it has more to do with what is socially acceptable
than what people in our society are doing.
|
not sure???
|
Honestly, I
don't think I fit into the typecast this survey assumes. It's as if I'm
either guilty and ashamed to tell people about gaining or I'm overly
outward and telling everyone about it. I like to think I fit somewhere in
the middle. Within my group of friends, we don't share our sexual
experiences to begin with - so it's not like I'm intentionally not able
to share what gainer sex is like.
I do get
that people feel shame however, and I think one of the biggest obstacles
is the gay community at large. The twinks and muscly guys who jerk off on
belly sites all day, but wouldn't be caught dead with a fat guy in
public.
|
Quit having
so many weight loss shows and commercials on TVs, Cuz I believe it makes
some of us uncomfortable in our skins
|
get rid of
the society label "all fat is bad skinny is hot fat is
disgusting" fat can be a great look if done healthily if a person
has a good diet good exercise and good self esteem it shouldn't matter
what there body is like thats what society should be like, and thanx to
shows like the biggest loser ect ect it never will be
|
Embracing
the reality that not everyone can be skinny and to accept that fat is OK
and that it can be beautiful to see someone grow fat.
|
Change
society's views on obesity.
|
If society
had the view that almost all body types have someone that is attracted to
it.
|
public
figures being pro belly / pro beefy
|
be true to
yourself
|
A more
accepting/even view presented in advertising and the media in general.
|
Maybe some
good role models to some positive aspects of a gaining/feeder
relationship.
|
Not just a
more accepting society, but a gay community that isn't rooted in
stereotypes about sex and an image.
It's the way that our community (gay, not necessarily gainer, but
it's there too...) that makes me ashamed that I'm a gay man.
|
I think
that society would need to change in order to really reduce it permanently,
but a temporary solution could be to engage in meet-ups with other
like-minded guys in a casual setting.
|
Education.
|
I don't
think much can be done. In today's society, it is not an outwardly
accepted trait. Although straight chubby chasing is a little more
accepted, it makes it infinitely more difficult that we are a minority of
a minority--homosexual fat lovers. It's really hard to gain acceptance,
let alone alleviate any guilt, especially in the eyes of the judging
society.
|
public
acknowledgement of attraction to abdominal fat
|
If people
would just accept it more.
|
not sure
still trying to figure that out, I am currently talking with people who
are out and are also attracted to fatness and encouraging.
|
Not a
lot. Societal attitudes would have
to change. There would have to be
widespread awareness, possibly spearheaded by gainer/encourager
characters in popular culture. I
can't see this happening.
|
well, if we
continue to export the American diet overseas, there would be no thin
people left, at the rate we're going. In terms of your question though, I
have mixed feelings. Should we have smoker acceptance? My concern is that
by making obesity okay, we might be further reducing the healthy options
available in poor communities and the inner-city. Also, I feel guilty at
how much food I squander to maintain my large physique. It seems selfish.
I'm too concerned about those two issues to focus on acceptance all that
much.
|
don't know
|
To just be
open and honest about it; its like a second coming out
|
help people
who r into gaing help them come out of the closet tell them nothing wrong
being gay and loveing fat
|
I think
getting comfortable with a fetish just takes time. There's always a little 'shame' or
discomfort, since it's not seen as a harmless fetish (i.e., the gainer
'can' become unhealthy if the gaining is not done in a healthy way).
|
nothing
people should live the way they want be happy with yourselfs do what
makes u happy dont be ashamed of likeing something differnt
|
I have no
idea.
|
A less
discriminative gay stereotype. Too much emphasis is placed on being thin,
fake tanning, fashion, clubbing and general gay 'glamour'. Small gay
scenes don't cater to larger guys, and the projected image of a
successful gay relationship is always of two hot young men. This is
despite the reality being most often the complete opposite. Gay media is
too single-minded and unless you're into bear culture, everyone with a
waist larger than a 32" is ignored or airbrushed out. A photographer
I know working at my city's major gay club was instructed specifically to
only take pictures of 'hot' guys, so anyone without a six pack and
perfect hair/teeth etc was out. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Gradually only guys who look like that end up going. Others are pushed out,
and my city's gay scene is sadly monopolised by a few individuals who
nurture this image and don't cater for anyone else. It's pretty awful.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Order
|
Answer
|
Responses
|
Percent
|
|
Anecdotal
evidence of healthy cases of people weighing at or above 'overweight -
obese' BMI indexes but having happy, productive lives.
|
Having
someone to support me.
|
up to you
and your partner
|
Just tell
people that I like larger guys
|
I don't
really think there is. Apart from find a willing gainer to encourage.
|
I personally
feel that there should be a seperation between gaining and gaining
related interests and a preference for beefy/fat men.
Gaining
related interests could maybe be compared to bdsm or other fetishes, that
are social taboos and thus can not be talked about.
For me as
an encourager there is no need to talk about my interest in gaining to
friends.
however i
do want my friends to know that i like beefy guys and just by openly
expressing this preference shame and guilt are reduced- it appears to me
that more and more people come to terms with the fact that they prefer
men that don t really fit into the ideal modern days media presents - at
least that s what i ve found in a lot of female friends. sharing your own
preference and doing this in a way that clearly shows how very normal
ones preference is seems like a good idea to me.
|
needs to be
more in the main stream
|
Using
different forms of advertising in my opinion would be a good way to
change today's uptight society.
|
Publicity
of some sort.
|
The elimination
of false information surrounding how unhealthy fat is, or determining
what fats side effects truly are.
|
Tough to
say...perhaps a change not just in gay culture, but cultural views of
fatness in general. The few close
friends that I have come out as a gainer and have talked about my
attraction to guys with bellies and guys who have the desire to make me
grow, the majority of the response was to the effect of "to each
their own." I think the
biggest way to reduce any shame and guilt is that it needs to be done
within one's self. By growing
confidence in yourself and desires, and acknowledging that for some of
us, this isn't just a fetish, but a part of our lives.
|
I think to
reduce the guilt and/or shame would have to be on a global scale. People would have to be more accepting
of body images that aren't skinny twinks or muscle bound jocks for the
homosexuals, and the ripped abs and size zero models for the heterosexual
ideal. And even if that never
happened, I believe that the only thing that would have to change would
be the knowledge that I am who I am through no fault of my own. I'm physically and emotionally
attracted to whomever pleases me.
I think self-acceptance would be primary on my list of things that
I could do to reduce the shame/guilt.
|
That would
take societal change, not small changes.
|
unsure
|
no idea!
maybe by accepting it?
|
For the
fetish to be the absolute norm and in no way deviant.
|
If i´d
knew a way i would tell.
|
It's mostly
about society in general. Those NAAFA people have been preaching
"fat acceptance" for decades, but for the most part, society,
medicine, science, and everyone else is hell-bent on so-called
"healthy living." On the other hand, a few notable gainers have
successfully managed to gain weight in a (relatively) healthy way, so
that may change some minds. I think the jury's still out as to how much
what you eat affects your health, vs. genetics. Some fat people are
seemingly healthier than thin people who eat "healthy." But
that goes against conventional wisdom, so... good luck with that!
|
Having a
more acceptance of my own body image and allowing others inside the walls
I put around me.
|
If being
fat became more socially acceptable
|
Well, I'm
not advocating Fat Pride, but if there was less emphasis on the
"Ideal Body" and "No Pecs = No Sex" crap that most
gay bars/clubs etc seem to advocate then the world and acceptance of who
you are and what you do - would bring a happier world.
|
making it
more acceptable
|
Combining
the attraction with muscle and bulk attractiveness, which is more
socially acceptable.
|
More
promotion of plus-size people in the media and not glamorizing anorexia.
|
Less media
input
|
To have
friends to hang out with that are into the same thing.
|
Not much
else. The meet ups and local groups are doing as much as they can.
|
Show them
as "normal" (whatever that really means) people instead of
people to be pitied or ridiculed or "saved from themselves".
|
I would
think that seeing positive examples in the mainstream media would be a
start.
|
Very
little, it goes against the grain in every way unfortunately.
|
Money to
buy new clothes
|
Ban
mothers, conservatives and 'hot' people.
|
I don't
think I'll ever be able to be out about it.
|
There's no
NEED to .... the internal passion is too strong to really be concerned
about other's notions about how I should run my life.
|
Face-to-face
meetings with other like-minded people has had a tremendous benefit to my
own fat-esteem. In my case, taking
this into the real world is a key component.
|
Community.
To feel like you belong to a group, like "bears" or
"facebook." To feel more mainstream and less like a creeping,
underground fetish. To be like "oh, I don't like skinny guys, I like
some belly. Check out beefyfrat or grommr and you'll get a good idea of
what I'm into. There are thousands of us!
|
less media
attention on skinny runts who don't eat
|
Making it
clear that there's nothing to be ashamed of - everybody has their own
turn ons and some are far weirder. It's who you are, not something to be
ashamed of.
|
support there
is not muchsupport for people who are shy i ofgten have found myself in a
situation where i wanted to talk about it but had not one to talk about
it with
|
More
fat-friendly role models in the gay community
|
|
|
|
|
|
Order
|
Answer
|
Responses
|
Percent
|
|
I think if
people in the community were more open in general about liking what they
liked, then there wouldn't be nearly as much shame or guilt associated
with it.
|
IMO,
nothing. My body, my business--by allowing feelings of guilt or shame,
you're essentially allowing the opinions of others to govern your body
image and perspective. Besides I find the belonging to a sort of 'secret
society' MUCH more appealing than broadcasting and assimilating the
gainer community into the mainstream public any day.
|
the confidence
already exhibited by certain gainers, if that were to become contagious
then not only would the communities comfort level become greatly elevated
as well as create a possibility of change in every day society
|
Internally--Condition
yourself to embrace it. I suppose, learn to love oneself, and others for
being fat. If it is solid in your brain, the way people react may not
affect you [as much].
Externally--Teach
people understanding/acceptance. Obviously, there are a lot of
misconceptions on being fat, clarifying all things fat and why people are
attracted, would lessen peoples judgement on it. I suppose.
|
Not living
near my family.
|
I think the
most important is to feel good with ourself and make us feel happy,
accept that if ur a fat boy u dont look as a fit guy, the thing is the
support in our comunity!
|
Finding
ways to reduce the negative impact of being overweight.
|
no idea
|
I guess a
lot of what I'd suggest is already being done. Meet ups, actual human
interaction. If you're unsure of yourself, meeting confident, successful
guys with the same interest surely can't hurt. It at least certainly
helps to dispel the get-skinny-media myth that you can't be fat and have
an enjoyable career, or feel good about yourself, or dress well, etc etc.
|
Having more
people talk about it.
|
Honestly to
people trying to gain I would just tell them don't! I'm a big Guy and I
didn't stuff my self with food I'm just big now I have high blood
pressure at age 21. Its not worth gaining it will hurt in the long run.
I'm trying to loose 100 lbs now. I know this is anonymous but ill talk
about this answer if u want bigsexy09
|
I don't
think there could be anything, it's analogous to the guilt of being
gay. All people can do is take
steps to accepting it and no longer thinking it of a shameful thing.
|
People
within the community need to know they're not alone and need to be able
to feel safe talking to each other.
However, revealing it to those outside of the community will still
remain difficult for most, I believe.
|
Experience
it for yourself. I think too many people don't actually engage in it and
jerk off and then are afraid to actually go out and enjoy themselves.
|
People
being less ignorant
|
uh no idea
|
shame and
guilt are personal things
|
I don't
think anything will change within my lifetime. I don't know what could be done.
|
stop
pressing the topic as taboo.
|
Building
community and fat acceptance
|
Making it
less obscene and sexual.
|
I must have
my own house out of my parents' city (live in another city, or state, or
country)
|
Probably
not much
|
Greater
acceptance in society of all kinds of people and ways of life
|
i have no
idea, i guess, educate people that fat is good.
|
I dont know
right now.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Total
|
146
|
100%
|
|
Q21 :
Optional question: Do you see society becoming more
or less accepting of
fat admiration, gaining, encouraging,
etc? Why or why not? What is the
implication for the
gaining community?
|
Order
|
Answer
|
Responses
|
Percent
|
1
|
|
113
|
100
|
|
less. Thin is in and I think it always will be for 99%
|
More
accepting. Obesity is on the rise
and as more people are larger it will become more accepted.
|
i don think
they'll approve because america is known for being fat and they won't
like people encouraging it
|
being a
part of the gaining community, it becomes "normal" to us seeing
and chatting with guys online into it.
but society as a whole on average, I don't think they are
accepting of fat admiration and all that.
|
I do not.
Mostly because close to no one is willing to support a fetish so
outlandish/against what society believes. Even now, our country can't
agree on whether gays should be able to marry/adopt children, it will be
quite some time before the world is ready to accept a gay culture
interested in 'bigger' people.
|
With people
getting fatter, society becomes more accepting. Therefore, the gaining
community could "fit" into this fatter world !
|
More
because more people are coming out about it
|
probably
less. i foresee a large "fitness" movement. more bariatric
surgery. more fitness programs in schools becoming mandatory...
|
There is a
big backlash in recent years about the pressure to be thin. I don't know
about total fat acceptance per se, but I think that more fat will become
less scrutinized. And hopefully this means more male celebs on the beach
shirtless showing off their bellies :)
|
Its sorta
become less accepting anymore. With Michelle Obama's plan to reduce the
population of fat people by getting rid of our food, more and more people
become more agreeable towards her.
|
Oddly
enough the more the levels of obesity rise the greater the stigma seems
to be.
|
I think,
that there is more acceptance towards fat people. Feel good about
yourself!
|
I think as
the obesity crisis gets worse, more and more people will find other
fatties attractive and it will grow in popularity
|
Less the
more people hear about. I think
people will always think its weird
|
Perhaps as
society's collective waistline grows, but deliberately wanting to put on
weight that isn't muscle-related, I can't imagine coming to pass.
|
no I dont
see much acceptance
|
yes
|
More
accepting as time go's by
|
not really
because skinny is all was going to "in" and fat is sick and
ugly but the commumtiy going to become more mainstream
|
Well... i
guess if it got on MTV it's out in the light now and individuals that may
have felt those feelings or were curious now know they aren't alone.
|
More
accepting in near future (that is the trend with most of the things),
less accepting after the western civilisation falls
|
With
obesity on the rise, it could become less of a problem! ;)
|
Becoming
more accepting. Even though Hollywood is still pushing strong for what's
"hot" and "attractive", society is slowly
understanding that having some weight on the body IS attractive, and
that's being determined with both sexes. Plus sized woman are just as
attractive as thinner woman. What's becoming more attractive is how we
carry our bodies and not ashamed of them.
|
More
|
more
|
No. There
is no push for change because the minority community is so small and will
spark little outside interest. No fetishes will ever infiltrate
mainstream.
|
More
|
Until
people get tired of the contradictory scientific findings with regard to
being overweight and associated health consequences, the ignorance will
continue. People should realize that we are all going to die one way or
another. And rather hold yourself to some absurd physical standard,
perhaps one should try to enjoy what makes them feel good, and recognize
that that quality of life is important. Fitting in is not.
|
less.
health consciousness is on the rise.
|
More
comfortable with heavy people. Not
at all comfortable with the idea of people getting fat on purpose or for
a fetish / kink
|
no
|
They are
certainly more aware of it, but that doesn't mean they'll accept it. Knowledge and acceptance are two
different worlds. Think about
it. Everyone knows bondage
exists. Do you think people accept
it? Not really. Sex is a selfish experience. "If I don't orgasm to it, I don't
like it." It's also, in
essence, a privacy issue. I could
go on for hours on this.
|
With the
increased public awareness of the obesity/diabetes epidemic I don't see
the gaining community gaining very much acceptance at all in the future.
|
More
accepting. However, I think it's different for everyone. It's very
strange for a thin, small person (like myself) to up and be like,
"I'm SUPER into big guys." Now, it's easier to do so but it
still would not feel right. People wouldn't care eventually but the
coming out hump is difficult, especially when people are very concerned
about health now. Being a gainer is basically seen as a fuck you to being
healthy, which is why it's very difficult to fathom sharing why you like
it.
|
i think
society is becoming more open-minded sexually but more fascist in a body
sense. perhaps with time we might get to a point where people feel less
right to judge alternative sexual expressions. i see the gaining
community getting less shame-oriented on a personal level ie. more people
meeting up in real life, but as comfortable as i am with that i still don't
want the public nosing in
|
Less
accepting because of the "health craze"
|
more
accepting
|
no
|
As our
society as a whole succumbs to obesity, its becoming more normal to be
bigger, but not purposely.
|
I don't see
the population getting thinner, but I do see the idea of being fat and
healthy getting larger, which is completely necessary for this fetish to
one, not give people such guilt and two, help us be more accepted.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
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